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#1 2023-09-30 17:34:51

SarahEL
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From: Minnesota
Registered: 2023-03-09
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Being out, transgender or gender diverse online

Navigating the online world as a transgender or gender diverse individual has been quite a journey for me. It's like stepping onto a roller-coaster of experiences, with both thrilling highs and challenging lows. Moving forward and passing through my transition has seen me making many changes in how I present myself online.

First and foremost, I've learned to prioritise my safety online. I'm always cautious about sharing personal information, such as my full name, address, or phone number, especially in those public corners of the internet (you know, that sort of information you should never share with a stranger!). I've become best friends with privacy settings, using them to control who can access my information and content on all the social network platforms I own. I was even aware that using two accounts with something like Facebook, on the same computer or phone would in essence, link them together even if there was no other link.. and so, initially, I never even used dual social network accounts. Instead, I opted only for separate email accounts, and disposable, gmail accounts at that. Using these email accounts and a VPN I first made my log on to online forums. Now, as I am me and only me.. proud to be me.. I am a bit more laid back about privacy.. sure, I am not going to give out my email, telephone or address to anyone (You know, the sort of information you wouldn't give out to a stranger!) but I use my real first name and am free with giving my vague location (to area of state for example).

When it comes to sharing my gender identity online now in new places, I've found it's all about striking the right balance. There are times when I go all-in, using my real first name and openly discussing my experiences. Other times, I opt for nicknames or pseudonyms, keeping things more low-key. It's a personal choice, and it's about finding that comfortable middle ground. One of the highlights of my online journey has been discovering supportive communities and groups. These digital spaces have become a lifeline, connecting me with others who understand and empathise with my experiences. It's a beautiful feeling, finding a sense of belonging and camaraderie in these spaces. My goal now however, is more about driving openness, education and awareness of what it is like to be transgender. This means I am veering more away from the safe places of the internet and challenging some of the online ignorance that is being peddled as mis-information and fake news. I am not looking to change the world, just make it possible for someone with gender dysphoria to be able to have their treatment and transition without prejudice, harm or malice befalling them. For that individual to be accepted as a full, productive member of their community and their true gender acknowledged and regarded without discrimination.

Understanding the rules of the online platforms I use has been crucial. I want to be aware of how these platforms deal with issues like hate speech, harassment, and misgendering so I can take appropriate action when needed. Reporting any harassment or discrimination is not just about protecting myself but also about making these spaces safer for others like me. Advocating for my preferred pronouns and educating others about using them correctly has been an important aspect of my online presence. When I make it clear on some less supportive internet outlets, that my gender presentation changed, correct pronoun usages has been a challenge. It is an easy 'troll' move to misgender someone. Especially if that platform allow anonimity. I have learnt to ignore it and i've made it clear what pronouns I use. I'm patient in helping others get it right, especially when it is accidental. Correcting misgendering when I feel comfortable doing so isn't just about personal comfort; it's about raising awareness and promoting inclusivity. This is true online and in the real world.

Setting boundaries has been a game-changer. Just like in the real world, I've learned to assert my boundaries online. (thank-you therapist!) If someone crosses the line with disrespect or invasive behaviour, I don't hesitate to block or mute them. My online space should be a haven of positivity and respect. Taking care of my mental health in the digital realm has been crucial. Spending too much time online can be emotionally draining, especially when facing discrimination or ignorance. So, I've become more mindful about taking breaks, disconnecting, and focusing on self-care to recharge. Life happens elsewhere. I am not going to change every bigoted mind I come across and I am not going to loose sleep over the wilfully ignorant.

Using my online presence as a platform for advocacy has been empowering. I've shared my experiences and knowledge to raise awareness about transgender and gender diverse issues. It's a small but meaningful way to contribute to greater understanding. In the face of severe online harassment or discrimination, I've learned to seek professional help. Whether it's through mental health professionals or LGBTQ+ organisations specialising in online safety, reaching out for support has been a valuable resource. Understanding the legal protections for transgender and gender diverse individuals in my area has been empowering. This knowledge has given me the confidence to assert my rights when necessary and to educate others about these protections. For example, if someone defames you on a social network (I am looking at X (or twitter as it was) here,), you can take that to your local police force, it is a crime. (If they do anything about it is another thing, but again, education.. and if more of us did it.. it would be a higher priority).

Ultimately, I remind myself that my online presence should be a genuine reflection of who I am. I have the right to exist and express myself as I am, and that's a right I fiercely protect. Building a supportive online community and taking steps to safeguard my well-being in the digital realm are essential elements of my journey.


Sarahel-slang term: Coming from the Gewada region language in Ethiopia
-when two people are very close friends, it is said to be Sarahel
Ex. Those two really love each other, they are sarahel

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